What My Mother Never Taught Me About Birth Control

Camrese birth control

 Photo taken by T.C.

It must have been around the age of 10 when I overheard a telephone conversation my Jamaican mother was having with a relative: "All I know is when Tamika get her period, mi a go put a coil up her ass!"

Terrified is an understatement of how I felt when I heard her say this. I thought I was going to get a beating for getting my menstrual cycle. "What kind of punishment is a coil?" I thought to myself. It took my mother almost a year and half before she found out that I started my period. My first cycle came around the age of 13.


It wasn't until I had my second child at the age of 22 that I realize what my mother was referring to when she talked about a coil, or what you may know as an intrauterine device, or an IUD.

I knew about the pill, the shot, the patch and tying tubes but I didn't learn about an IUD until my gynecologist presented it to me as an option for contraception. Two types of IUDs were offered; one with hormones, which lasted about five years, and one without hormones, which was copper based and lasted for 10 years. 

The copper IUD was the best option for me at the time. I tried the Depo shot – that gave me a receding hairline and a bald spot. I tried the pill that made my period come every three months – my period never stopped and I spotted for six months straight. Given that I already had two children I asked my doctor to tie my tubes – of course she said no. "What happens if your little boy and girl got swept away in a tornado? Then you wouldn't be able to have any more kids because your tubes are tied," Dr. Knowitall said. "Besides, you're too young." 

The truth is I didn't want to have anymore children because I was making steps to head back to college to attain my undergrad in journalism. So again, the copper IUD was the best option for me at that time.

Why couldn't my mother just sit me down and explain all of the birth control options when I was a kid? It's not like she couldn't explain, after all she was a registered nurse. From that day I decided that I had to calmly explain to my daughter all of the options that are out there for birth control and the side effects that may come along with them.

It turns out that it's not just my mother who had a complex talking about birth control. When I asked my daughter's pediatrician for a gynecologist recommendation, she wasn't on board with our game plan. "You should wait until you are 30 before having sex or just wait until you are married," Dr. Stupid suggested. "My daughters all waited before having sex," she continued. Mind you, her daughters all looked like they like to have kinky fun.

The following week I withdrew both of my kids from that pediatricians office and took my business elsewhere. What is it about birth control that makes mothers so uncomfortable?

So, my mother taught me absolutely nothing about birth control. However, I think and hope I broke the cycle with my children. At least I know that my kids will never say, 'I wish my mother taught me about contraceptives.'

Did your mother teach you about birth control when you were younger? Leave your comments below or e-mail your answers to astutestories@gmail.com